Jester/Barks

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Battle

Landing a Critical Hit

• HA HA HAAAA!
• Hee heee heeeeee!
• HA!
• AH-HA HA HAAAAA!
• Truly amusing...
• Slice, slice, slice!

On Death's Door

• At last, the greatest joke of all...

Fearful

Becoming Fearful

• Err... Eh heh. Ha. Err....
• Ha haaa! Haaaa! Aaaaaaaaah!
• Well, so much for bravery.
• Some idiot once told me all bravery comes from fear.
• Which prancing fop led me down here anyway??

Stressing Party

• Why do we hang about here? We are defeated!
• Does this earth produce NOTHING that is good?
• We're in out of our steps! We must flee!

Switching Position to the Back

• I won't be a punchline!
• Move aside! I'm not dying for you or anyone!
• What a horror!

Passing Turn

• Ah hah. You are mad as a hatter.
• No. No, I think I shall stay here...
• Are you insane!?

Camping Stress

• (nervous laughter)
• Yes. Let us sit until we are murdered. Brilliant.
• Do we even have a plan? Or are we waiting to die?

Getting Hit by Enemy

• (pained sobbing)
• (nervous laughter)

Enemy Missed Self

• (shrill scream)
• It's after me! HEEELLLLP!

Party Member Attack Misses

• It knows we're easy targets. We are sad, pathetic fools!
• Such hubris. We've practically killed ourselves!

Party Member Getting Hit

• I should never have come out here...
• On second thought, children's birthdays aren't so bad...

Party Member Missed by Enemy

• RUN! RUUUUUUUUUN!
• All your courage and your nobility... all for what?!

Refusing to Move

• You pitiable fool! What use in scampering about!?
• I cannot, lest I lose bowel control.

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• Are you mad?! There's no time for that!
• We're all going to die...
• We are come to the end - a finale of sorts.

Paranoid

Becoming Paranoid

• Maybe just cut all their throats... To be sure.
• So you've finally tricked the trickster.
• They take me for a fool. ... Fair, I suppose.
• What a fool I've been. Ha. Ha ha. ... Hmm.
• Let them stand behind me?! AH HA HA HAAAAA!

Stressing Party

• Should never have gone with you grinning fiends...
• I trusted my life to you sneaks. Truly I am the fool.
• Sometimes your worst enemies are your "friends"...

Switching Position to the Back

• This is no chance encounter! Someone wants us dead!
• You watch -- our chances will slowly sour....
• We are only MEANT to think them evil. They are being paid...

Passing Turn

• I admire your guile, but I am immune to scheming.
• Directly into the snapping jaws of death? Ha!
• Yes, feed the jester to the dogs. A common scheme.

Random Action

• I'll play the fool no longer!
• Trick the master trickster?! HAA HAA HAAAAA!
• Who said that?!

Camping Stress

• Maybe kill them all in their sleep. Just to be sure...
• Keep these blades close tonight... In case.
• Why do they always wait until I've eaten first...?

Attacking Party Member

• Ha ha, do not lie -- you were about to do the same, no?
• Looks like I'm the quicker of us two! Ha ha haaaa

Refusing to Retreat

• What, did you make a bet that we'd fail?
• ... You're leading us into a trap! Clever, but I must decline.

Getting Hit by Enemy

• GAH! ... Whose idea was this?? HUH??
• Are you all TRYING to get me killed??

Enemy Missed Self

• I am done for! That one has it out for me!
• I think this one rather dislikes me!

Party Member Attack Misses

• Ha! Only a traitor could have missed that shot!
• How did you miss? Tell me, before I cut the truth from you!

Party Member Getting Hit

• They bleed poison! Do not let it touch you!
• Smell that? It is sulphur! They are demon-anointed!

Party Member Missed by Enemy

• They missed. How convenient...
• No... It's not possible they missed you. What's your game?

Refusing to Move

• And leave me open to attack? Dear old me?
• ... I'll stay here. Go fool someone else.

Refusing to Use Item

• ... You try it first. I know poison when I see it
• I would doubt me also, but I KNOW you're up to no good.

Refusing to Get Healed

• Pfft. Like as not, you'll just make things worse.
• And infect the wound? You must think me a fool.
• Ha! Medicine! Parlour tricks, more like.

Refusing to Get Buffed

• Tricks are really my area.
• This stinks of witchcraft. What hogwash.
• I'll go without the charms, thank you.

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• Conspiracy at Court - intrigue is afoot!
• I can't trust any of you!
• ...What have you led us into? A trap, is what!

Refusing to be Target of Camping Skills

• Stop touching me!
• I prefer only a certain variety of poisons, thank you.

Refusing to Eat while Camping

• If you wish to kill me, at least do something exciting.
• Strong stuff. Boil your knickers in it, did you?

Masochistic

Becoming Masochistic

• Heh heh heh heh. Heh. Heh-heh. Heh. Heh.
• AAAAA-HAAAAA!
• Torture? (shrugs) I'm always game for a little fun.
• Oh, you like knives? Me too... Heh.
• Yes, drain my blood. I tire of this... "life."

Stressing Party

• Yes, destroy me. What a relief that would be.
• If possible, remove my ears. I tire of their wit.
• I am no more than a man. And so I deserve death.

Switching Position to the Front

• Heh heh here we go!
• An eye for an eye, me chappy?
• I'll trade you! Slice for slice!

Random Action

• By all means, if suicide is your plan...
• Ha! You want to see foolhardy? Then shove over!
• If suicide is your plan, then I am your man.

Camping Stress

• A few drops of blood in the fire should attract them...
• I'd prefer death over sleeping downwind of these apes.
• Noise will attract animals, you say? AH HA HA HAAAAA!

Marking Self

• GAH! Just KILL ME and be done with it!
• HA HA HAAAAAA!

Damaging Self

• You see? THAT'S how you kill a clown!
• Bah, must I do everything myself!?

Refusing to Retreat

• I prefer being stabbed over hearing you whine in the tavern.
• Getting beaten and humiliated is sort of my job. (sad laugh)

Getting Hit by Enemy

• Now here's an end worth singing about.
• Yes, don't leave me out. I deserve all I can get.

Enemy Missed Self

• You pathetic creature. Can't even kill a suicidal clown.
• Go for the eyes next time.

Party Member Getting Hit

• Beautiful. Just beautiful...
• As usual, I am passed over even for punishment.

Refusing to Move

• Ah-ha! I'll stay here, and damn the odds!
• (whining) But I won't get any fighting if I move there!

Refusing to Use Item

• What reason is there for living, if not excruciating pain?
• Bah. Another day, another life-threatening injury.

Refusing to Get Healed

• Why bother? There will only be more later.
• Your honest positivity is positively annoying.
• Stop touching me! Go bother someone else!

Refusing to Get Buffed

• What's a few injuries? I have endured this long, yes?
• I would prefer an unadulterated death, thanks.
• You silly buffoon. Bleeding is half the fun!

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• No. We shall lose fair and square. It is the fool's way.
• I'd rather gut myself. No, I speak true.
• You object to failure? You are in the wrong business.

Refusing to be Target of Camping Skills

• You think me weak, frivolous? Hah!
• I suffered much indignation at Court - I've a taste for it now.

Refusing to Eat while Camping

• If it makes them look all the worse, I will go hungry.
• Starvation has a certain allure for me.

Abusive

Becoming Abusive

• HA HAA HAAAAAA! (spits)
• (snort, spit) There, that's my opinion.
• You can all die. Simple as that.
• I am in like company. Unfortunately for them.
• Be polite? Would rather die of plague.

Stressing Party

• You're not even worthy of death. Such weakness!
• (snort, spit) Heh. Heh-heh.
• Just another artifact of man's hubris. Bah!

Random Action

• I am sick of sitting backstage!
• My performance begins!
• Can you even carry a tune, let alone a sword?

Camping Stress

• Gods. The stink of humanity does truly cling.
• I really do hope you're all dead by morning. Goodnight.
• You stupid fools! Laws are merely tools of tyranny!

Attacking Party Member

• There is no peace while your tongue still flaps!
• The massacre begins with you, you ignorant child!

Party Member Attack Hits

• Enough flailing and the job gets done, apparently.
• Incredible. You hit one. Finally.

Party Member Attack Misses

• Good gods, get out of my way.
• I don't want to be here all daaaayyyyy!

Party Member Getting Hit

• LORD, just kill yourself already! So cruel to egg them on!
• And here I thought I was the court jester.

Refusing to Move

• I don't like you right now. So piss off.
• Mmmmmmmmm... no.

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• Oh yes, now you would have me play nursemaid. I think not.
• Put away your toys, little one. It is past your bedtime.
• You pathetic failure. I bite my tongue at you!

Refusing to be Target of Camping Skills

• You think that will help? Then it is YOU who are the fool! Ah ha! HAA HAAAAA!
• You people and your cheap parlour tricks. (spits)

Selfish

Becoming Selfish

• I am not the only performer here. Just the most qualified.
• For twenty-five percent, I give twenty-five percent.
• No, I did not touch the coin purse. ... Hee-hee.
• One quarter? Surely you jest.
• If I must be paid in coinage, make it A LOT of coinage.

Stressing Party

• No, I won't risk my life for you hopeless clots.
• Save a decapitation for me, will you?
• I've earned my pay. No need overextending myself.

Switching Position to the Front

• Well, let me have a piece or two!
• Oh, how I do love a pitiable scream.
• Suppose I'll have to work for my living...

Switching Position to the Back

• Life is a fool's errand. So please, excuse me.
• Sacrifice is a most noble act. Here, see for yourself.
• I've done more than enough for this 'expedition.'

Passing Turn

• No. I am content. ... Bwah!
• Not at the moment. I am... busy.
• And what will you give me in return? Hmmmm?

Random Action

• Fie. An idiot's work is never done.
• LA LA LA, I canst barely hear you! ... Hee-heeee!
• Huh? My apologies, I misunderstood. ... Heh.

Camping Stress

• Cease your shrill laughter. I am getting a headache.
• I will finish the food. You're all too fat as it is.
• Try to sleep, you say? Out here?! AH HA HA HAAAAA!

Getting Hit by Enemy

• Okay, I've had enough! Try someone else!
• Few more hits and I'll require additional recompense!

Party Member Attack Hits

• Yes, you do all the hard work. I approve.
• I'm taking a nap. Let me know when it's safe.

Party Member Attack Misses

• How the hell did you negotiate an equal share? Pffft.
• Booooo! I want my money back!

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• What a ridiculous waste that would be.
• Oh, if only I had a copper for every fool in the world.
• No. I'll not fritter away my skills for you.

Hopeless

Becoming Hopeless

• What a sad display, us lumbering apes.
• All this leather and steel and blood... for what?
• We stink of will and confidence. What a crock.
• We think we have purpose here? A noble venture? HA!
• Just another sick demonstration of hubris. (snort)

Stressing Party

• Heh. (sigh) Heh.
• What a joke.
• Would that I could quit this world willingly...

Switching Position to the Front

• We cling so pathetically to life. Is it ego or id?
• It's you or me. Either works.
• Why endure this world? We all have a choice.

Switching Position to the Back

• There is no "honor." You only seek to forestall shame.
• Keep your pride. I'll have no part in it.
• Foolishness! There is no glory! It is a construct!

Passing Turn

• (giggles, sobs)
• What hogwash, this need to "live."
• All cowards flail hopelessly against demise. Pity.

Random Action

• Why struggle so? It's all just meat and shame.
• Too late. I gave up on us hours ago.
• Why have we not surrendered yet?

Camping Stress

• No matter where I go, cretins abound.
• I could never kill them all... Another vain fantasy.
• My life alone is an insult to my senses...

Marking Self

• Is there one among you pitying enough to kill a fool?!
• No! Take me instead! I've had my fill of this life!

Damaging Self

• If you want something done right.
• Pathetic. I'll not stand another moment of it.

Refusing to Retreat

• No. I've PRAYED for death. I've LONGED for it!
• (chuckle) You WANT more misery? You sadist! TORTURER!

Refusing to Use Item

• Why save an old maniac, of no use to anyone?
• Just leave me here. I know you would relish my death.

Refusing to Get Healed

• No. One fewer soul will do the world some good.
• Go. You don't want me around anyway.
• Save your arts for someone with a spark of hope.

Refusing to Get Buffed

• Like the rest of this world, I deserve nothing.
• Your lot is suffering indeed if I am worthy of aid.
• Pfft. I would rather be done with the lot of you.

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• A fool's errand, that.
• Truly, our hubris knows no bounds... and we shall suffer for it.
• What a sham, this expedition... What tomfoolery.

Refusing to be Target of Camping Skills

• And live to suffer another day? What a cruel joke.
• Bah. All this charity is making me ill.

Refusing to Eat while Camping

• This foolish eating... I extend my own agony.
• I can stand the pain of starvation...

Irrational

Becoming Irrational

• HA HAA HAAAAAA!
• Hee hee. Hee. Heee heeee heeeeeeee. Hee. Heh.
• MWU-HA HA HAAAAAA!
• HA HAAAA! (sobbing) HA HAAHAAAA! (sobbing) Hee-hee!
• (crying and laughing)

Stressing Party

• Heh.
• RAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA!
• (giggles uncontrollably)

Switching Position

• Hoooo hoooooo hooooooooo!
• (maniacal cackling)
• Ah-ha ha HAAAAA!

Passing Turn

• HOOO HOOO HAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAA!
• Off with his head! Ha-haaa!
• (annoying guffawing)

Random Action

• (mad giggling)
• HA HAAA HAAAAAAA!
• MWAH-HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Camping Stress

• Heh. He-heh. Heh-heh-heh. Heh. Heh. Heh-heh. Heh.
• (screaming peals of laughter)
• (sudden roaring laughter)

Marking Self

• AH HA HAAA HAAAAAAA!
• HOO HOOOOOOOO!

Attacking Party Member

• HAAA HA-HA-HA HAAAAA HA-HA-HA HAAAAAA!
• (giddy laughter)

Damaging Self

• HAR HAR HAAAAARRRRRR!
• (quiet tittering)

Refusing to Retreat

• Hee heee heeeeeee! Hee-hee! HEEEEEE!
• HA HAAAA!

Getting Hit by Enemy

• (whistling a weird tune)
• Ha haaa haaaaaa! ... HAAA!

Enemy Missed Self

• HOO HOO HOOOOOO!
• AH-HEE HEE HEEEEE!

Party Member Attack Hits

• (mad chuckling)
• Eh heh. Heh.

Party Member Attack Misses

• EEEEEEE heee heee heeeeeeee! HA HAAA!
• HAA HAAA HAAAAAAAA! HA! HA!!!

Party Member Getting Hit

• Heh. Heh-heh. Eh-hmmm....
• A-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! ... HAAA!

Party Member Missed by Enemy

• YAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!
• (snort)

Refusing to Move

• Ha! AH-HAA HAAAAA!
• (snorts)

Refusing to Use Item

• AH-HOO HOO HOO!
• (cackling madly)

Refusing to Get Healed

• HAR HARR HAAARRRR!
• Eeee-hee heeeee!
• BWAH HA HAAA!

Refusing to Get Buffed

• HAAAAA! Not for me!!
• Heh. Heh-heh. Heh.
• HAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAA!

Refusing to Perform Camping Skills

• Hoo-hoooo-hooooooooo!
• Ah-HAAAAAAAA!
• EEEEE-hee-hee-hee-heeeeee!

Refusing to Eat while Camping

• HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA!
• EEEEE heh-heh-heh HEEEEEEE heh-heh-heh HEEEEEEEEEEE!

Stalwart

Becoming Stalwart

• Madness or willpower. Either works.
• I care not. And so I am immortal.

Reducing Own Stress

• Blast. Seems I'll see tomorrow after all.
• What a joke. Positively hilarious.

Courageous

Becoming Courageous

• Be calmed. We shall live to suffer another day.
• A pathetic joke, this place. Court is infinite worse.

Reducing Party Stress

• It's a sad day when I am your best hope.
• Here, clean your wounds with this whiskey. I have lots.

Focused

Becoming Focused

• My blade will find their weaknesses!
• They squeal like pigs! Must silence them!

Buffing a Party Member

• Good. Now you go first.
• Never been much of a leader, but I'll try... TALLY HO!

Powerful

Becoming Powerful

• Ha haaa! Ha haa haaaaa! HAA HAAAAAAA!
• EEEEEEE-HEEE HEEE HEEEEEE!!!

Buffing Party

• There is no escape from here... save to slay all.
• You must admit that wanton slaughter is a lot of fun...

Vigorous

Becoming Vigorous

• If your foul reek hasn't killed me yet, nothing will.
• I've lived at court. Poison no longer has any effect.

Self Healing

• Insanity suits me, it seems.
• Do I feel better, or is that just the pipe-weed?

Final Boss (Spoiler)

This article or section may contain spoilers about the final boss. You might want to avoid reading further if you don't want to spoil the surprise for yourself!

“	Hah! The jokes's on me then...?	„
	~ The Jester on accepting his demise at the Heart of Darkness.